Season 3 Ep 6: How to Stop Treating Your Clients Like Your Parents
How can we stop treating our clients like our parents?
As therapists, we often share the experience of having been a parentified child, and this shared background fundamentally shapes the way we practice therapy, creating a unique bond and understanding among us.
The relational patterns we developed as children, regardless of our current relationship with our parents, deeply influence how we manage our relationships with our clients. Recognizing and addressing these patterns is crucial, as repeating them without awareness can lead to disengagement, burnout, and even leaving the field entirely.
So, how can we shift our approach from treating our clients as we would our parents to treating them as independent adults?
Our journey towards treating our clients as independent adults begins with acknowledging our childhood patterns and the wounds we still carry. This self-awareness is not only a path to personal growth but also a key to improving our professional practice.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
How the relational programming we received in childhood can keep us and our clients stuck
How successful therapy actually replicates the foundational grief of the parentified child
Why your relationships with both your favorite and your most challenging clients might be where these relational patterns lurk the most
Why we have to accept reciprocity and mutual gratification beyond collecting your fee in client relationships
Why you have to stop coddling your clients and treat them like the capable, strong adults they are
Why repressing your own emotional reactions to your clients isn’t helping them or you
Learn more about Riva Stoudt:
Instagram: @atherapistcantsaythat
Resources:
The Analyst's Vulnerability: Impact on Theory and Practice, Dr. Karen Maroda
About Riva
Riva Stoudt is a therapist based in Portland, Oregon. When she's not working with patients, she likes to talk about all the things a therapist isn't "supposed" to talk about.
